Saturday, May 05, 2007
When "No" is the way to go
Requests come toward us from all directions, each seeking to place a demand on our time. Some requests are nagging and others enticing. Each lobbies for a spot on our schedule and pressures us for commitment. As leaders, how do we know when “no” is the way to go?
WHY WE SAY YES
Our natural inclination is to say “yes” to almost every opportunity or call for help. For this reason, our lives become overextended, stressful, and unfocused. Rather than protecting our sanity by building margin into our schedule, we drive ourselves bonkers by committing to all manner of projects and activities.
There are three underlying fears driving us to say “yes.”
First and foremost, we fear offending the person who is asking for our time. We don’t want to hurt our relationship with them, and it pains us to turn them down.
A second fear is lost opportunity. We don’t want to miss out. We gravitate toward the center of the action, and opportunities seduce us with their promises of newness and excitement.
A third fear is damaging our reputation. We like to be known as the reliable team member who can be counted on no matter what. We shudder to think of being viewed as a shirker or slacker if we refuse to take on more work.
WHEN WE SHOULD SAY NO
To begin saying “no,” develop a filter for evaluating potential commitments and/or opportunities. Here are four suggested questions for filtering requests for your time. Does the commitment fall within your realm of responsibility?
With an impulse to improve the organization, a leader may end up dabbling in a wide range of projects. Although noble in intent, some projects can be a distraction from executing top priorities. Take care of definite job responsibilities first and perform them with excellence before embarking on additional ventures. Does the opportunity align with your vision?
A house divided cannot stand, and a vision divided will likewise perish. Expending time on non-essential activities will split your focus and minimize your influence. Be wary of the allure of attractive but off-course opportunities. Does the commitment allow you to operate within your strength zone?
In general, avoid commitments that drag you or your team away from what you do best. Be selective about where your time is invested. You’ll earn the greatest return by sticking with your strengths. Do you have the capacity to follow through on your commitment?
Put simply: be realistic. You can’t do everything, nor can you expect your team to have infinite capacity to take on additional projects. Consider creating metrics to identify the boundaries of what you or your team can reasonably expect to accomplish.
HOW WE SHOULD SAY NO
In her article, Getting to No, on Forbes.com, Hannah Clark gives advice on how to say “no.” Among her suggestions: Don’t decide on the spot
Oftentimes, even as we hang up the phone, we’re berating ourselves for agreeing to a commitment we would rather not have made. Clark recommends allowing yourself time and space to make a clear decision about a commitment: “To avoid agreeing to something you'll regret, try this mantra: ‘I'll have to check my schedule. Let me get back to you later.’ That gives you time to consider the request and respond on your own terms, by phone, e-mail, or in person.” Be polite, but direct
According to Clark, in saying “no,” don’t use excessive niceties when turning down the requester. Being overly kind can unintentionally invite the asker to push for a commitment rather than signaling your refusal.
Any Comments or Inputs are welcome
WHY WE SAY YES
Our natural inclination is to say “yes” to almost every opportunity or call for help. For this reason, our lives become overextended, stressful, and unfocused. Rather than protecting our sanity by building margin into our schedule, we drive ourselves bonkers by committing to all manner of projects and activities.
There are three underlying fears driving us to say “yes.”
First and foremost, we fear offending the person who is asking for our time. We don’t want to hurt our relationship with them, and it pains us to turn them down.
A second fear is lost opportunity. We don’t want to miss out. We gravitate toward the center of the action, and opportunities seduce us with their promises of newness and excitement.
A third fear is damaging our reputation. We like to be known as the reliable team member who can be counted on no matter what. We shudder to think of being viewed as a shirker or slacker if we refuse to take on more work.
WHEN WE SHOULD SAY NO
To begin saying “no,” develop a filter for evaluating potential commitments and/or opportunities. Here are four suggested questions for filtering requests for your time. Does the commitment fall within your realm of responsibility?
With an impulse to improve the organization, a leader may end up dabbling in a wide range of projects. Although noble in intent, some projects can be a distraction from executing top priorities. Take care of definite job responsibilities first and perform them with excellence before embarking on additional ventures. Does the opportunity align with your vision?
A house divided cannot stand, and a vision divided will likewise perish. Expending time on non-essential activities will split your focus and minimize your influence. Be wary of the allure of attractive but off-course opportunities. Does the commitment allow you to operate within your strength zone?
In general, avoid commitments that drag you or your team away from what you do best. Be selective about where your time is invested. You’ll earn the greatest return by sticking with your strengths. Do you have the capacity to follow through on your commitment?
Put simply: be realistic. You can’t do everything, nor can you expect your team to have infinite capacity to take on additional projects. Consider creating metrics to identify the boundaries of what you or your team can reasonably expect to accomplish.
HOW WE SHOULD SAY NO
In her article, Getting to No, on Forbes.com, Hannah Clark gives advice on how to say “no.” Among her suggestions: Don’t decide on the spot
Oftentimes, even as we hang up the phone, we’re berating ourselves for agreeing to a commitment we would rather not have made. Clark recommends allowing yourself time and space to make a clear decision about a commitment: “To avoid agreeing to something you'll regret, try this mantra: ‘I'll have to check my schedule. Let me get back to you later.’ That gives you time to consider the request and respond on your own terms, by phone, e-mail, or in person.” Be polite, but direct
According to Clark, in saying “no,” don’t use excessive niceties when turning down the requester. Being overly kind can unintentionally invite the asker to push for a commitment rather than signaling your refusal.
Any Comments or Inputs are welcome
Encourage Quotes
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”~ Mother Teresa
“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”~ William Arthur Ward
“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any Comments or Inputs are welcome
“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you.”~ William Arthur Ward
“Our chief want is someone who will inspire us to be what we know we could be.”~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Any Comments or Inputs are welcome
